Divorce at Jenks
By: William Ford
In a world where communications, availability and freedom can get the best of us, making a lifelong commitment can be implausible for many adults. According to the University of Maryland (UofM) [Stratification, Sociology 441: studies on sociology of inequality], divorce rates have risen from 10 in 1000 to 20 in 1000, nearly doubling from the mid-1900s to 2000s. As of now, estimates for divorce rates are as high as 500/1000, or 50% if not greater. This problem is pressing and global, and it is no stranger to many students at Jenks High School. Students who are victims of parental divorce suffer internal trepidation that cannot be effectively explained, but there are extensive resources available to these students. While it's evident that not all parents' commitments are seen through, it's agreed on by both the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) and the SpringerOpen Journal of Chinese Psychology (JCP) that while Children are typically not a direct cause of divorce, some statistics may suggest an increased rate of divorce among specific parents:
"Specifically, (1) couples who have premarital children are more likely to divorce; (2) the higher the number of children, the more stable the marriage, but the marginal effect declines with the increase of the number of children; (3) younger children reduce the risk of divorce more than older ones; and (4) couples who have sons are less likely to divorce," JCP abstract study overview of 'The impact of children on divorce risk.'
The effects of divorce on students can be short and long term. Short term effects can include obstruction of daily livelihood, intense stress, situational depression and emotional distress. Long term effects include mental disorders (chronic anxiety, chronic depression, mood disorders and psychosis though far less common) as well as feelings of neglect, lack of trust for one or both parents and feelings of displacement or confusion. These can lead to declines in overall life performance and academic engagement during critical developmental periods of a student's life.
The subjective effects caused as a result of parental divorce greatly affect a students abilities, motivation and life course. While parents remain the most important figures in their children's lives, the children can become secondary or even tertiary concerns to one or both parents through the divorce process. Jenks students reported experiencing feelings of being at fault for the divorce (when they were not), feeling immense stress that forces them to "age or mature quickly," inability to focus or keep up with tasks and overall lack of motivation as well as many cognitive stressors and disorders. As a result, Children of divorce tend to perform more poorly in school and are more likely to engage in illicit activities and drug use in high school and later into life.
Children at Jenks who have been subject to divorce account for an estimated 50% of the student body. These students (exclusive to JHS) often report experiencing subjective effects in an in-depth survey including one or many of the following: anxiety (100%), depression (100%), anxiety or depression to an incapacitating degree (37.5%), fear/dread (75%), depersonalization (37.5%), Derealization (50%), suicidal thoughts and tendencies (37.5%), loss of motivation (75%), abandonment of goals or aspirations (37.5%), categorized or uncategorized schizophrenia (12.5%), or bipolar tendencies / bipolar mood disorder (12.5%). Respondents reported experiencing multiple symptoms on average. 100% of survey respondents did not receive therapy or counseling as a result of divorce, even though 37.5% stated that they needed therapy or counseling. It should be noted that this statistic may be unreliable. The remainder (62.5%) stated they did not feel the need for therapy or counseling, or did receive counseling but very soon willingly ceased visitation. The same amount (62.5%) of respondents experienced disruptions in their schedules or daily lives for days to weeks, while the remainder (37.5%) for a year or longer, while the divorce itself took on average 3 months, with over half of respondents reporting over a year of tension and disorganization before the final separation.
Unfortunately, some circumstances reported by students include the disbelief of parents that their child truly suffers from psychological trauma (or in some cases, parents archaically stated that depression and anxiety are not real), feelings of neglect further into life, distrust of parents and other older figures in life, feelings of being stuck in time or wasting time, feelings of partial or complete detachment from the world around them or themselves and difficulties communicating.
87.5% of these respondents experienced parental divorce between the critical ages of 4-7, where independence, self-control, social skills and creativity are made to be established in children. The remaining 12.5% of respondents experienced parental divorce between ages 8-10, where peer friendships, intersocial skills and emotional developments begin to take place in children. With life courses altered by divorce during these periods of a child's life, there may be a disturbance in core development of the child as they undergo stress, feelings of neglect and being lost. This can lead to permanently stunted or altered personalities, social patterns, emotional states and cognitive stressors or patterns, further causing antisocial or bipolar personality disorders, poor sociability, self-isolation, anxiety and depression.
It's been noted by Marija Lazil of LegalJobs (LJ) from Marripedia (M) that children are more likely to experience behavioral issues if their parents separate between the ages of 7 and 14. It's further assumed that these behavioral issues lend themselves to neurotic opinions and behaviors often developed later in life. She also notes that these children are twice as likely to drop out of highschool. LJ also finds that these kids are twice as likely to attempt suicide and four times more likely to struggle to fit in. Lastly, she finds that 70% of prison inmates come from broken homes, children of divorce are at a greater risk of living in poverty and that there is a definite link to the child's academic performance.
In an interview with JHS Grief Counselor Paula Lau, she shared information worth mentioning:
"[Children of Divorce] are very good at hiding the fact that anything is wrong at all… these kids tend to go under the radar," Lau says, "...they often don't seek any help at all."
Reasons for this were also collected from the same student Respondents. The biggest reasons for not seeking help (support of adults, counseling etc) were feelings of neglect, lack of motivation, distrust in adults or embarrassment, all of which were direct results of the divorce processes.
"There are tremendous (amounts of these) resources available at Jenks," Lau also says. "Jenks is even partnered with [counseling organizations] that specialize in certain areas of grief."
Although Jenks offers therapy through its partnerships, Lau stated that this therapy is not always free to students, and is not always covered by insurance. Additionally, students report feeling too 'caught up' throughout the divorce process to get help, or that they simply could not find a counselor they feel well talking to.
Outside of therapy, it's important to keep these kids included. You can help those who are struggling with divorce around you by checking in with your peers, keeping up to date with your friends, being inclusive and having a positive attitude when talking to these people. It's important to direct someone to greater help if you think they might need it.
Sources Cited:
“Sociology 441: Stratification.” Divorce Rate Trends, www.vanneman.umd.edu/socy441/trends/divorce.html. Accessed 17 May 2023.
Xu, Qi, et al. “The Impact of Children on Divorce Risk - the Journal of Chinese Sociology.” SpringerOpen, 17 Apr. 2015, journalofchinesesociology.springeropen.com/articles/10.1186/s40711-015-0003-0#:~:text=Specifically%2C%20(1)%20couples%20who,%3B%20and%20(4)%20couples%20who.
(Aacap), The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Contact. “Children and Divorce.” Children and Divorce, www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/Children-and-Divorce-001.aspx. Accessed 17 May 2023.
