Marry Me Movie Review: Wish I Married Owen Wilson

By: Jourdan Batson

Masterpiece: a work of outstanding artistry, skill, or workmanship (from the Oxford English Dictionary). This movie did not fit this definition, but it was definitely a fun watch. I am like every other super cool and awesome person and I love Owen Wilson. Please enjoy this review.  

The movie Marry Me directed by Kat Coiro is about super nerdy and not-so-exciting Charlie (Owen Wilson) who finds himself with his friend and daughter at a concert for sexy international superstar Kat Valdez (Jennifer Lopez). During this concert, Kat is supposed to marry her fiance Bastian (Maluma) in front of a crowd of 20 million viewers. Right before the concert, Kat finds out that Bastian has been cheating with her assistant. She doesn’t marry Bastian, and instead marries Charlie, who by chance happens to be holding the friend’s sign that reads “Marry Me.” Now Kat and Charlie are married and have to come against all odds to be together, can they do it? (Take one single guess if they can.)

Let’s start with the unpredictability of the plot: 1/10.

I knew exactly what was going to happen, but I was still so sucked in and I wanted to see it play out. I wasn’t left wondering if she was going to leave the super lame boring nerdy math teacher to get back together with the super attractive cool famous guy who cheated on her. I did still “awe” a little bit though. 

Music: 5/10. 

This gets a 5 because I absolutely hated some of the songs and they felt very repetitive. During the chorus of each song, it seemed like they really liked repeating words in sets of 3. Some of the songs though weren’t bad and had me doing a little finger tap. I didn’t think any of them were worthy of playing the soundtrack on Spotify and listening on my own. It might just be personal preference, though. I’ll admit that some were catchy. Just, very mid.

Plot: 7/10. 

Although the unpredictability is a 1, I still have never seen a plot quite like this. The love interests were middle-aged people who had already been through marriages which I feel doesn’t happen very often. I also hadn’t seen people actually get married at the beginning in front of 20 million people. It was unique enough to be enjoyable and make me actually want to watch it.

Ability to watch this with your parents in the room and not be uncomfortable: 8/10. 

I would watch this with my parents. There is only one suggestive scene and it’s something that is more up to you to interpret what happened. There is no nudity or steamy scenes that are borderline “this is not happening” while your mom is sitting next to you. 

Character likability: 7/10. 

There wasn’t anything wrong with the characters, I liked them perfectly fine while watching. This gets a 7 instead of 8 solely because of Bastian. Yes, he cheated, which is bad. The thing that’s worse than him cheating is his name. They only call him Sebastian once in the movie and I think the name Bastian is dumb. Sorry (no I’m not). I also just didn’t like Lou (Charlie’s daughter) for no particular reason. 

Overall enjoyment of this move: 7/10.

I always give a rom-com a 6 because I’m a sucker like that. This movie was enjoyable and I would definitely watch it with my friends (or parents!) during a girl’s night or a night in. This might not be my absolute #1 choice to watch, but I think if you like a good light-hearted movie, you should give this a chance at least once.